What is a Puja? Puja in Sanskrit means reverence, honor and adoration or worship. In this ancient ceremony men honor and bless women as the Goddess. Women honor and bless men as the God. It’s a beautiful way to show respect and experience deep connection.
Why is a Puja so special? During Puja, each participant is fully present in every moment while making offerings to the God or Goddess in each person. Each participant honors himself or herself by attending!
Puja is very special to me! It was in just this ceremony many years ago that my life shifted never to go back to the old way of being for me. I experienced myself as being love, being worthy of love, being loved! I cried my way through the first go round when the women rotated to each man and the men kissed our feet and our bellies. I certainly had never experienced anything like this before! Somewhere in the middle of the ritual, I decided to make this life my reality – men honoring women and women honoring men. Soon thereafter Butterfly Workshops was born.
This is a Winter Solstice event in Phoenix will be spectacular!
If you are in Arizona, please come and join me! I will be honored to have you there.
Here’s some great testimonials about my latest Sex Magic & Intimate Ritual course! These people and the others who attended were on fire. I hope you enjoy it! It’s only a minute, yet powerful!
New Sex Magic & Intimate Ritual Testimonials
Perhaps you’d like to take your lovemaking to a higher level? Perhaps things have gotten stale between you and your partner? Perhaps you want to use your orgasms to create what you want in your life? All this is possible through this amazing course. Just click play and see what these people had to say about it!
Is Sex Magic & Intimate Ritual for you?
Yes, absolutely if you said yes to any of the questions above. There is a pre-requisite. You have to have taken either my Bliss: beginner’s Tantra course or someone else’s beginner’s Tantra course before attending. Also, this course requires you have an intimate partner or are willing to be fixed up with a conscious partner.
Talk about experiences to top all experiences try Sex Magic & Intimate Ritual a new course offered by Butterfly Workshops! In this course you will learn what only the masters knew for centuries!
You will benefit both from the practice of sacred ritual and your flow with a partner in a new realm, a new universe. Perhaps this is something you’ve always dreamed of, but never knew how to access. Your participation in this course will leave you feeling like the star of a Rumi poem!
What Exactly Happens in the Sex Magic & Intimate Ritual Course
What to expect in the Sex Magic & Intimate Ritual Course…
Emotional Clearing – clearing the inner space for the unknown
Latihan Pratice – moving/being in the unknown, surrender
Building an Intimate Altar – Preparing Space for Ritual
How to Practice Sex Magic Ritual – Instruction on Physically, Emotionally, Spiritually Offering Blessings to the Goddess within all Women
How to Practice Intimate Puja – Instruction on Physically, Emotionally, Spiritually Offering Blessings to the God within all Men
Note: This course includes activities explicit in nature and nudity. There will not be a time in group where there will be sexual activity or nudity, however you must attend this course with a partner with whom you would feel comfortable sharing deep intimacy (for the purposes of practice) even if this person is not your intimate other.
Who Should Consider Participating?
The Sex Magic & Intimate Ritual Course is for couples and partners. You must participate fully with the person you attend with even if he/she is not your regular intimate partner. There is so much to be gained that I am posting this 3 minute video from the previous participants. They volunteered to do it!
The film that is based on the Gate Dinner that many of you have participated in at the three day Ecstasy: Advanced Tantra course Beyond Dinner won for “Best Short” film at the Erotikos Film Festival in Jamaica in mid September. Recently the film had its US Premiere at the Erotic Heritage Museum in Las Vegas on October 13th where it was inducted into the museum along with the other festival winners. What an honor!
Beyond Dinner Follows the Basic Principles of Gate Dinner
The women and men are seated on pillows on the floor in the dining area for Beyond Dinner. In order to give people room to shift and spread out for the ritual feast, the floor is best. The banquet is approximately eight courses for this special dinner. First I offer a workshop on setting boundaries so everyone knows how to say “Yes” and how to say “No.” They also learn how to say “Not now, maybe later.” This is fundamental before the feast begins.
To begin we do a meditation where everyone goes into and stays in their highest heart space, a space of honoring from the divine, the God or Goddess within throughout the event. After the meditation, the first course of flowers petals and rose water is served to cleanse the body with heart vibration. The couples each sip a bit of rose water and then anoint their partners with petals honoring the energy centers of the body, the Chakras.
The excitement really begins when the men are instructed to leave the partner they arrived with and move to the next woman in the circle. And so it goes…with each course, the men move thus all participants have a chance to experience feeding and being fed by others in the room. Courses consist of red wine, juicy orgasmic chocolate dessert before the meat and potatoes are served to give a sense of the forbidden. Oh, and did I say there are no utensils, but there’s plenty of wine. As the evening progresses and the guests get more relaxed, they experiment with different sensuous ways of feeding and eating. ALL IN FUN AND HONOR mind you!
Beyond Dinner Film has a Twist
In this film version of our dinner ritual, Beyond Dinner takes us in a different direction because a couple arrives at the dinner who have no experience with Tantra, with Butterfly Workshops, with anything that we’re doing. They’ve never participated in a ritual, never breathed and squeezed. Nothing. So, things take some interesting turns as they navigate through the experience.
I don’t want to tell you too much! I will tell you it is funny, educational, beautiful, sexy, sensuous – EROTIC! I really want you to see the film for yourself! And you can NOW ORDER the film for only $2.99 to rent and $5.99 to download. When you click on the trailer, you’ll discover how to order the film.
Here’s the trailer so you can get some idea of how smokin’ this film is.
The mutually negotiated sexual landscape between two intimate partners is not a static environment, but a dynamic one. Sometimes that landscape looks and feels like a beautiful walk through a mountain meadow. And sometimes it’s a a virtual reality thrill ride. And everything in between.
All too often, couples sex lives are not all they could be because time and space are not created to explore it. It’s taken as a given. But I see each partner’s sexuality, and thus the sexual universe created by their unique relationship, as a beautiful realm that positively begs discovery.
When you’re pushing the envelope of mutual sexual exploration, you will come to wonderful places together that work for both of you. And you may come to places that won’t. That doesn’t mean you can’t keep exploring; it doesn’t mean that the sex will hit a dead end. The erotic world is vast. And most people’s erotic worlds are indeed far vaster than they even know. If you both stay open and dare to keep digging and exploring together, you may just find plenty of beautiful, fun, hot, sexy places to meet.
Figuring out what really turns you on, finding new places that drive you wild, and places you won’t go, is a process. It’s mutually negotiated. It’s not an ultimatum based dynamic. The very act of discussing and sharing and figuring it out builds intimacy and trust and excitement. No matter where it ends up. And if there are things that make either one uncomfortable, then you move away from that and go somewhere else with it. It’s a process. Again, it’s not static, but very dynamic.
There are few discussions I would rather have with my lover than one where you share sexual fantasies, open up about deep desires, and just explore your own and each other’s sexuality. Just like anything else, the deeper you dig, the more you are going to find. And sometimes what you find scares you. Or your partner.
Fine. Bring it on. What would you rather talk about? The weather? The economy? Not me. Give me a juicy discussion about what you want to do to me, what I want to do to you, and how we can make that happen, any day of the week and twice on Saturdays and Sundays.
Such discussions, however, require that each partner has a certain degree of self knowledge. Not everyone has done the work to know themselves like that. And even if you are in touch with your own hearts’s sexual desires, you also have to be able to risk sharing that. Again, most people have big trouble with that.
I’m not saying it’s easy to get to that place. But I assure you, it’s worth it. It is so worth it. Self knowledge, and being able to risk exposing yourself, are in fact the building blocks of true sexual intimacy.
Just like our hearts, I believe our sexuality is a treasure of riches that you usually have to dig for to get to. Life has thrown so much dirt and shit on our sexual desires, on sex itself, telling us what is right, what is wrong, what is “normal” and what isn’t, that we develop crippling inhibitions that block us from getting to that which truly makes our blood boil.
Sometimes we get to a place where we discover something we like, or love, and tell ourselves that there is something wrong with us for liking it. So we don’t allow ourselves to like it too much, lest we believe we’re fucked up. That’s very real, and I’ve been there. But now I know that line of thinking is bullshit. If whatever you like or love is completely consensual by both parties, and does not harm another living soul, then there’s nothing wrong with it. And there’s nothing wrong with you for liking it.
Human sexuality is unfortunately a poorly understood, indescribably vast universe that is still grossly under-explored by most. Our sex lives would serve us better if they were more like the rest of our lives – an adventure. Intimate relationships are the most beautiful arenas, and the most fertile grounds, for self exploration that we have. Can you think of anything more charged than sex? The word itself, and certainly the act, are literally a fucking bastion of electricity. It’s a world on fire. It’s made to be plugged into. It’s designed to set us ablaze. So plug into it. Feel the heat. Ride the lightning.
Many prefer the darkness. It’s easier to hide there. It’s safer there. And I have a lot of empathy and understanding for that sentiment. But my life, across the board, is all about coming out of the darkness and into the light. I’m talking metaphorically here, not whether you use a 10 watt bulb or a 100 watt bulb. But sexuality proves to be a wonderful metaphor. Sex is electric, and that electricity begs us to use it to shed light. To illuminate. To enlighten. And to burn hot and bright.
I’ll put my money where my mouth is and share something very personal. And relevant to this discussion. I have never been a fan of having sex in complete darkness. I like a little mood lighting, like the soft glow from a candle or a colored bulb. But when I’m co-creating sexual intimacy with my lover, I rarely close my eyes. Even when I kiss. And that’s not because I’m not into it. I don’t need to close my eyes to be into kissing, or fucking. I’m into it. Period. It is s giant turn on to look at my partner when we’re kissing; I love to see what she looks like. It’s even better when we look into each other’s eyes when we kiss. And the creme de la creme is to look onto each other’s eyes whilst making love. That’s magic, baby. That is in fact nerve rattling intimacy. And intimacy can be incredibly scary. But so are roller coasters.
I have come to value intimacy in all of my special relationships as a sacred thing. It’s vital to me. For those closest to me, from my best friends to my lover, it becomes the air I breathe. And with each person, that intimacy looks and feels different. And sometimes it scares the crap out of me. But it’s worth the risks.
Sex and Happiness Show: Transforming Trauma Through Touch
Co-creator Michele Younger joins me for a rare glimpse into our special brand of healing Transforming Trauma Through Touch. Many from around the US and as far away as Panama have flocked to Phoenix, AZ to work with us in private 3-day workshops and the demand continues to increase. So I decided it was time to talk about this phenomenon on the show.
Our work grew out of the combination of our individual talents blended with the Tantric techniques of Latihan (following inner guidance) and Bodyhan (Latihan with two facilitators laying on of hands). We discuss specifically how within a session we might move deeply with a client into Transforming Trauma Through Touch by “clearing” the body of persistent negative attitudes, childhood trauma, negative thought forms and physical pain.
We describe our work with women, men and couples facing such intimate painful conditions such as and scar tissue from a surgically removed prostate plus we talk about how we teach couples to touch each other in the same ways of Transforming Trauma Through Touch so they can continue the process when at home.
In terms of everyday romance, it takes Balls to be romantic – everyday.
It takes feeling to share a romantic moment with a perfect stranger or a perfect lover. Here is what I mean.
One winter’s day I came home from work – late –tired – weary to the bone. My partner came to meet me at the back door. She said “Baby, take a shower, put this on and meet me in the Living Room.” She handed me a Pink Flamingo covered, Silk Robe I had never seen before. I obeyed. I took a shower and returned still wet behind the ears and surrounded by moist Flamingoes. Candles everywhere. “Eternal Om” filled our Living Room. Every pillow we owned was on the floor before the burning place of blue-green fire.
“Lie down my love. Make yourself comfortable. Close your eyes, my love; I will cover them with your silken sash. You will not need your vision tonight.”
That is when the kissing, the licking and the sucking began. Soon flustered flamingoes hurried away to stand stiff pink century in corners hidden cleverly behind the sensuous sounds of blindfolded love.
Everyday Romance – A Daily Dose of Romance
I see them every day the ones that wait to serve me. Wait to take my payment. Wait to hand me my purchases.
I see their names on nametags pined askew:
Ellen– Thomas– Gwen– Mary– Grace- Margaret
These ones are like flowers I do not know. These ones have shapes and designs I have not noticed closely. When I look closely, I see their individual majesty. These ones deserve appreciation today.
How about some romance today?
Out of the pocket romance.
“Here, are you Ellen? This rose for you. Here is one for Thomas, one for Gwen, one for Mary, one for Grace, one for Margaret, etc.” Twelve roses are handed out today. Roses from an admirer. Heart to Heart, Eye to Eye. Appreciation – the core of Everyday Romance. We all can act and give a Dose of Romance any day even every day.
Everyday Romance – I Never Knew I Could Be Romantic
I saw a beautiful woman walk into Marshall’s. She was in step behind her shopping girlfriend as she passed trough the door I was exiting. I was transfixed. The woman was beautiful and she sent out a love vibration of good will and great cheer.
Later I found myself in line behind her shopping friend. I said to this woman that I noticed her friend and that “I think your friend is beautiful” and would she share my observation with her friend. She said she would. She next said that my request was “very romantic”. See, the thing is, at the moment before she spoke I never knew I could be romantic. This experience proved two things to me:
1. If you feel romantic why not have the courage to act and express it in the moment.
Seems lately I’ve heard a lot of talk about Sex Magic in social media and in the Tantric community. There are courses and classes and books and blogs all about Sex Magic. Well, I know a little something about mixing powerful intentions with orgasmic pleasure and having the results manifest a life I love! The practice of sex magic that I am speaking of is using your own body’s organic energy of sexual arousal or actual orgasm with visualization to fuel a deep desire or intention. There is nothing complicated or confusing about it at all. I want to share what I have experienced about Sex Magic with you.
In the fall of 2009 I moved to Arizona. Upon arrival, my then husband, and I separated. Really, the day we arrived we separated. It was a confusing and painful time for me. I knew my marriage was over and yet I had all the trappings of a twenty year relationship. Of course there was all that public opinion, romance novel, and bad B movie input that informed me of how I was supposed to feel about being “dumped and left.” You know, anger, grief, resentment, regret, indignation, all the awful stuff that is expected and worthy of sympathy from the masses. I was feeling very little joy and very fat. UGH!
Being a student and teacher of Tantra, I knew that I had to move those dark emotions out of my body. I also knew I had to move them quickly. I had no time to have a pity party or climb back under the covers for weeks or months. I had to create an income in a new city and I had to get my body into a healthy condition. I had to find the real Me after years of denial and excuses for bad choices and behaviors! What I needed had to be truly magical!
Sex Magic with Emotional Release & Intention
So I chose the simplest practice that I knew to calm my nervous system and get clear in my thinking and feeling, Emotional Release. I started to do Emotional Release every day for about a week. It felt good to cry and yell and say all the words that had been locked up in my throat and belly. I knew I was on the right track and eventually things would be okay. Then one evening as I started a sweet self-pleasuring time with myself, I wasn’t even thinking about doing emotional release. I was surprised that an angry sob escaped my throat. I stopped moving my glass wand (my preferred pleasure toy) and pressed in with a little more pressure against my g-spot (also referred to as sacred spot). Sure enough more sobs came up immediately. I stayed with the pressure deep inside my body and let the tears flow. I kept breathing and sobbing for what seemed like a long time (really only ten minutes). Then as the tears subsided and my breathing became deeper, surprise! I started to feel the tingly beginnings of pleasure. A thought came to me in that moment “I really want to move fast through this pain and grief!” What I knew for sure was if I was to have a true intention with positive results, I would have to say all that in the affirmative. So I changed my intention to “I want freedom, joy, and ease in my body” Yes, that was it, that felt right and I went deeper into my self-pleasuring. My sexual energy was building and just as I was edging into my orgasm I flashed on my thought again “I want freedom, joy, and ease in my body” and then again once more as my ecstasy overtook me, that powerful intention of “freedom, joy, and ease” rode the creative sexual energy of my orgasm.
That is how I found the power of Sex Magic for my personal transformation and fast crossing from sad angry victim to powerful “in charge” woman! In three short months I was unrecognizable to myself and others. Almost immediately I was happy, fun to be with, motivated, and in action so much that I lost 53 lbs. and began building my business.
Today I continue to use this practice of Sex Magic for manifesting my deepest desire and intentions.
Sometimes I focus on a material goal, something physical I want to have. Other times I focus on a ways of being that I want to cultivate and experience in my life, more joy, deeper intimacy with others, and to be more organized in projects. I’m certain I can have whatever I want in all areas of my life – mental, physical, emotional, and relational with freedom, joy, and ease! I found that it doesn’t have to be hard or difficult to get what I desire. I am manifesting a limitless, joyful, abundant life!
Recipe for Sex Magic
My personal recipe for Sex Magic was my glass G-spot wand, emotional release, intention, self-pleasure to orgasm five out of seven days per week.
Here’s a recipe for you:
As you are preparing to self-pleasure, take a moment to focus on what you want. Say it to yourself clearly in one sentence, in the affirmative. Begin to self-pleasure, when you get to that upward feeling towards your orgasm, say your intention again to yourself, and just as you arrive at the 3 or 4 strokes before going over, think or say your intention. Continue to say it during your orgasmic release! Then relax and catch your breath! Know that you did it right!
As I sign off today, I suggest to you what Laurie Handlers always says “that as many times a day as you brush your teeth… have that many orgasms each day!” And I add if you are having orgasms anyway… attach a powerful intention for freedom, joy, and ease in your life! Remember Sex Magic is pleasurable and fun and you deserve it!