Dreams Coming True

Last weekend was the New York New Life Expo. I have participated in this event many times before, but this time was most noteworthy. The panel I participated on about Sex and Sensuality was fantastic. Such a great panel of experts (Nan Wise, Anton Diaz, Barbara Carrelles, Racheli Cherwitz and Michael Jascz) and so much fun. I appeared two other times at the show and met hundreds of people along the way.

As soon as I arrived I had the opportunity to transform myself when I discovered that my regular table had been sold to someone else. I got really hot for a few minutes and then let it go. I figured if I cannot turn on a dime, who can? After a short while it did not seem to matter at all. People found me and I saw that it made no difference. Being able to shift out of my expectations and into what is so, was so valuable.

Yesterday I led a Bliss course in NYC that was the greatest ever in my opinion. There were 28 participants coming from many different places. Some came from the New Life Expo. Some came from my collaboration with teeni dakini. Others came from One Taste and www.MySpace.com. Some came from Sexy Spirits. How cool is that? Collaborating has proved to be extremely beneficial for them and me. I'm convinced that working together and supporting each other, we can all win.

A note: Since 9/11 I have often felt it difficult to get New Yorkers to commit to workshops in advance. I've been teaching Tantra in NYC since 1999 and I noticed a marked difference in advance registrations after the tragic WTC events of 2001. So yesterday's turnout was an amazing treat especially since I did not know how many would actually turn up!

And maybe I have been reluctant to state it as such, but I really believe that being successful in NYC means the world! You remember that line from the song New York, New York - "If I can make it there, I'll make it anywhere...it's up to you New York, New York. For me, it is a dream come true!

How is Butterfly Tantra Distinct from other Tantra Teachings

People always ask the question how is Butterfly Tantra distinct from other teachings and forms of Tantra. The answer is simply the difference between teachers. Teachers differ greatly in their philosophies, their methods, what they focus on and their lifestyles.

I will state for the record that I believe Tantra is much, much bigger than sacred sex. I believe that getting stuck in G-spot stimulation is an addiction like any other addiction. I personally do not care if you study Tantra and never have a partner with whom to have sex. I care that you fuel your body continually with sexual energy, the vital life force, and keep yourself circulating that energy to maintain your aliveness.

I care that you become healthy, stay healthy and walk the talk meaning do the practices. I care that you live within your own integrity. I care that you speak your truth. I care that you clear your emotions. I care that you feel orgasmic on the inside and that it reflects outward through your entire being. I care that life becomes a dance with the unknown so that every moment is fresh and new. When and if you do make love, I care that you make love in the unknown.

More on this later. I welcome your comments.

Integrity = Being Your Word + Inner Guidance

Coming from a crazy family where people's minds changed like the weather, I adopted the policy of being true to my word no matter what. Even if the time came and I didn't feel like doing whatever I had agreed to, I kept my word and showed. I always wanted people to feel like they could count on me. I did not know I had huge underlying safety issues so I sought to enable people to feel safe with me. I figured, if they could count on me (my word), I could count on them. That should have equaled safe. Right?
Wrong!

Then I sought out learning experiences inside of paradigms where keeping your word equals integrity. For me, I felt I could finally feel secure knowing that I could trust what people said. After all, if I gave my word, I'd keep it. So, they must be the same. What was I thinking? People gave their word and made promises all the time. And they broke their word.

Things happened. What, I don't know. I never asked. I was not concerned with their excuses for not keeping their word. I was concerned with the fact that their word had been broken. I found myself making them wrong. I was even sneakier than that. I devalued them and still loved them, but less. I justified this righteous behavior of mine and had no room for their growth and development gap.

So were they safe with me? In fact, no. Did I feel safe with them? No.

Then I began studying Tantra. This Eastern philosophy encourages you to embrace it all, the right and the wrong, the light and the dark. I learned to embrace other's darkness (breaking of word) and my darkness (making them wrong). When this embrace empowered me to come out of the darkness, all of a sudden, I developed a lot of room for it all. I stopped taking it personally when a word was broken. I stopped being attached to outcomes. I became more appreciative of the process of transformation and just what it takes for people to keep their word, other people.

Inside of Tantra, I also became familiar with a powerful process called Latihan.

Latihan is a deep meditation where you go inside and then move following inner guidance. Some people call this authentic movement. During one Latihan session, I met my life's purpose staring me right in the eye. I began to listen to my inner voice rather than being distracted by what was "right" or "wrong" with the outer world.

I have been using this practice for 8 years. It has altered my life and altered my relationship to integrity and word. Now I follow inner guidance inside of my life's purpose when I commit to do something. Usually by the time the event comes about, I still want to do it. I am not merely toughing it out by keeping my word to anything and everything. I am keeping my word to something I have clearly chosen out of my deep commitment to what I am committed to in life. I have given up needing to have people count on me above all else and trying to make them feel safe. I have stopped making them wrong and myself right if things change. I focus on myself, my intentions and the messages I get from within. It is easy to keep my word and be with people exactly where they are. There is no more resentment.

At the end of the day, my word is in alignment with my life's purpose. And when I give it, it is a measure of the commitments that guide my life. Now it really does add up to my integrity, my truth. The bonus is that I'm experiencing many more people these days keeping their word. Something major has shifted in my life.



How to do Latihan:
You stand in a room with eyes closed. Playing on the stereo is ethereal music no lyrics.

The practice starts out by you picturing yourself standing at the edge of a cliff. You are strapped into a harness that is attached to a zip line. The zip line is stretched across a void. In other words, in your mind's eye, if you look down, you see only darkness, nothing - the void. In the meditation, you let go of your foothold and swing out over the void. You hang there attached to the zip line.

Then you reach up and push a red button that unfastens the clasp holding you connected to the zip line. Essentially, you let go and fall into the unknown.

Once you feel yourself falling, you begin to move only when movement moves you. This is not about prescribed movements, postures, dance steps or even asanas. It is simply to notice the impulse to move and then feel your way into the next movement.

Practice this for 10 - 15 minutes at first. Then move to a half hour.
Gradually build up to an hour at least once a week.

Copyright Butterfly Workshops, Inc. 2005

One of my teachers said...

"In the west there are clean streets - dirty minds
In the east there are dirty streets - clean minds."

Another teacher of mine said...

"India is in your face and if you resist, the mass will only come closer up, closer in. If you just flow with it, it will flow around you. Everything in India is a test for your ego and ego attachment to the way you think things are supposed to be."

Osho said, "India is not a country but a mystery. A mystery of a rising lotus as chaste as the morning dew, delicate and sublime. India is the immanent and the transcendental manifested simultaneously leaving deep feelings of wonder and amazement, just as those experienced by a child. So distant and high as the Himalayas and as close and as near as our breath, ethereal like the rainbow and yet so real and alive."

This is why I prefer India.

Please consider.

New Heights

South Florida in July.....hmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Who would ever go there then? Me.

What a kick I had at the Health Fair in Daytona Beach. Such wonderful people live in the area. There seems to be much interest in Tantra there.

A Sunday Bliss class in West Palm was filled with new students and received powerfully.

And then working with a company committed to transformation was an enormous thrill in the West Pam Beach area. Michele and I had a ball. There will be more work to follow with this company and so great it will be.

All I can say is I live a divine life. It's never boring, always exciting and growing into new and wonderful areas of interest.

Soon there will be more corporate clients and Bliss courses filled to capacity. It's very promising indeed.

Paul Lowe - Another Amazing Gift!

On Friday, while still basking in the energy of Amma, I was invited by Alan Steinfeld of New Realities TV to a small gathering at a hotel in Times Square to meet and hang out with Paul Lowe. And all I can say is "Thank you for yet another great gift!"

We were seven in all including Paul. He sat with his back to the Times Square skyline, flashing lights, advertisements larger than life. He spoke quietly and powerfully to each of us about life, love, sex, orgasm, waking up to who we are. We asked questions of him and sometimes we didn't, he just had a 'hit' on one of us.

On his website, he is described as "Paul Lowe is an original. His unique view of the world and its future encourages us beyond what we normally think of as possible or impossible. From a perspective rooted in his own diverse experience, he addresses our everyday issues – relationships, money, health, sexuality, parenting, career, communication – with wisdom, compassion and, perhaps most importantly, humour. An encounter with Paul is always provocative, meaningful and entertaining. And for many people, it’s a life-changing experience."

And so it is.

Again the experience of compassion came into my pores. This time it was from a man, shall I say "the Father?" If Amma represents the Mother to me and helped to shift the relationship of me to my mother (who has been deceased since 1995 BTW), then I must say that Paul Lowe did the same thing for me in relationship to me and my father (who you may have read about in previous blogs).

How is this possible in just two days to have such major shifts, to call in such powerful medicine? I don't really know how to explain the phenomenon except to use that phrase again, the one teeni dakini gave me, "in the perfect moment." So for me, the planets must have aligned because I was ready, because I was intending, because I caused myself to be available with not much to do for 2-3 days which has rarely happened in my current life.

What did he say that was so amazing?

Well, for starters, I hadn't said a word and he looked at me and said, "You are having challenges with your father. You take care of him and he is perverse. He resists you, yeah?" Let it go and see what happens. He will come towards you and let go of his resistance.

Then he told me that I had taken 'control' to a new level, that I am controlled because of things that happened to me in my past. He said that I could give that up now and take whatever bumps may come. There is nothing more that I have to guard myself from. Nothing matters, NOTHING!

Finally when I was leaving the gathering, he hugged me and said, "Just get softer and softer. Get soft in every moment. Get more and more vulnerable and watch how you get taken care of like and innocent wallaby." I said, "Okay, I will." Then he added, "We can never be grateful enough for our parents' act of getting us here, giving us life."

Now there are many other things he said over the course of the evening. Some of what he said to the others I have taken on as well like rather than ending a sentence or paragraph with a down stroke such as "I really don't like it there!" which he claims brings down our energetic mass, say, "I notice it's not my preference in a neutral tone." Keep the tonal quality of the words even or on an upbeat.

And I'm back on Fire Island now with my father. My life has shifted enormously. I am aware of how I think and speak about him. I am creating a new reality for us. I will move out and let it all go and I imagine he will come more towards me then. I know have gotten a big piece handled about his life and his continued quality of life and I can move on. And we can both be happy and share love.

Thank you, Paul.

For more information visit www.paullowe.org.

Hugging Amma - What a Gift!

This past weekend I was supposed to go to DC. There were some things in storage that I needed to get a hold of. But as fate would have it, when I called the storage place in Rockville, MD, I was told that presently the place is too full of storage things and that they could not afford me the opportunity to have them bring down my boxes so I could go access them and sort through things. So I did not go.

I stayed in Manhattan figuring I'd return to Fire Island the next morning. But when I awoke on Thursday morning, I had the thought, let me see what's going on in the City today? Why go back when I'd really rather be here? So what if I did not bring extra clothes with me? Just see what's up!

I called around and discovered that Amma, the "Hugging Saint" was in NYC and decided to go with Om. Previous to this whenever Amma was visiting in a certain city that I was in, I was usually too busy to go to see her. In the interim I have carried her picture around with me and have become increasingly interested in her method of transmission - hugging. I've picked up books by her and saw a special on TV hoping I'd get to see her some day.

It was wonderful to finally experience her and receive one of her hugs. The Manhattan Center was bustling with people and a Indian band was playing devotional music. People were from all walks of life and every ethnic group. All had tokens with numbers, numbers that informed when their time would come to get in line for a hug.

My number was S2 meaning I would wait for two to three hours (a short time according to Ammaphiles). While waiting Om and I sat close to the stage so we could witness her hugging process with other pilgrims. It was amazing to watch. This woman, Mother of Compassion, embodiment of Kali-Ma herself, sits for 15 hours a day and hugs people one by one as they approach her guided gently by the Amma's loyal assistants.

I felt like crying a lot of the time as I watched. Much of the time I was silent. Sometimes I talked to Om or others there who I recognized. At first glance, it appeared to be a gathering of New York's spiritual who's who.

But it was much more than that. There was no pretense. People wore saris, robes, jeans, T-shirts everything imaginable. People talked and shopped in the auditorium while waiting to be called. Some sat in lotus position and appeared to be meditating, but there was no particular way they had to be. It was somewhat chaotic - organized from the feminine aspect. I really liked that about it.

Finally my number came up and I anxiously cued up to get my Amma 'fix'. As I approached I was asked if I was "alone" and what language I spoke. I answered "I am alone in a manner of speaking," and that my language is English. A couple of assistants laughed. Then I was told to wipe my face and forehead with a tissue and take out my hair clip because Amma might hurt herself when she went to hug me possibly getting caught on the clip. During the final approach towards her, it was necessary to crawl very closely behind others in line. When my turn finally came, she grabbed me to her and pressed me hard into her, held me strong and whispered all the while into my ear. I told myself to surrender to her, the Mother, and so I did.

I noticed I had no comprehension of a word she said. I doubt that it was English and what's more I don't care. She let go abruptly, smiled and handed me a chocolate kiss and a flower petal. I looked into her eyes and saw a person deep in trance, yet totally present. I was ushered away to make room for the next in line and I willingly went off to the side, kneeled down and touched my head to the floor to honor her.

Now let's look at this more closely. What actually happened? I was hugged tightly by a powerful woman who claims to be an incarnation of Kali, my patron saint. Rather than exhibit the "cut off your head" rendition of my favorite goddess, Amma personifies her enormous compassion. She sits for hours and hugs people no matter who or what they are. The only question she asks is what language. It's free. It goes on for three days culminating in an all night Kali ritual that lasts until the next morning. WOW!

What did I come away with? Something huge. I got held by 'The Mother'. Somehow it made everything right between me and my mother. It made up for all the times my mother was unable to hold me, comfort me, reassure me that everything would be alright.

This surrogate mother is offering powerful female healing energy, Shakti energy that is very much needed on the planet at this time. The transmission of healing energy comes in the form of hugs. She never spoke at a podium, rather she whispered in my and others ears. Nobody even spoke to her. She just pressed people to her one after the other after the other. The transmission is mother energy something everybody needs, something the earth needs, something that has been missing.

Profound experience. I can say that it has changed me. I will hug more. I will make it a practice at the beginning and end of every workshop and every meeting with people. I will hug in a very conscious way and with intention to offer mother energy. I will hold the person in my arms differently than I have ever hugged anyone before.

If you would like to know when Amma is coming to a city near you or more about her humanitarian efforts around the world go to www.Amma.org.

Perfect Moment

I started my new Ongoing Sex & Heart Series in NYC on Wednesday and I was quite pleased to see some brand new faces and even people I had met at the New Life Expo two and three years ago who finally showed up to class despite a horrendous thunder storm. I do not mean to imply that I don't like seeing familiar faces in my classes. That to me is the greatest proof of the value of the work when people return for a fresh look and continue to get pressed to new edges. Yet, when the new ones showed up on the recommendation of friends and relatives or after meeting me, but not showing up at class for so long, I really had to say I was excited. It showed me once again not to give up on people. They arrive in the perfect moment and it's not personal if they take their time. Eventually they make it if it's calling them.

And one more thing about this class. The owner of the new location Light House Yoga, Kami Fereidooni showed up in attendance. Now this is a new turn of events. Yes, I am smiling! In the past I have offered the studio owners and managers in the various cities where I teach the option to participate in my classes. While they smiled in my face and paid lip service to me and said nice things about their understanding of Tantra, they did not take me up on the invitation. I can't help but feel if they had come to class a few times, they would have benefited and our relations would have gone smoother. After all, how could they promote a course the likes of which they really had no idea? Yet when it came to splitting the proceeds, they wanted their share to be 50% even if they produced only one attendee from their databases. This never seemed quite fair to me and often I simply chose to stop working at those spaces rather than fight for what I deemed fair. And as you probably already guessed sometimes I did fight. No surprise there.

So when this man showed up for class on Wednesday, not only was I not expecting him, I was tickled and happy to have a studio owner wanting to get to know my work so he can properly promote it. I like working in partnership and this is a great start. Thank you, Kami. I am honored.

For more info go to www.lighthouseyoga.net

It's all good!

I am back in the States and I am whole and fine. As a matter of fact it's even better than that!

England was so good for me. Who would have thought? England - duh! Really it was. The benefits just keep growing exponentially. In am thrilled.

Here are a few of the outcomes from this last trip:

• My father and I are at a truce. So far it has lasted five days. Very good.
• I have been invited back for a December Tantra Festival in Dartmouth to present alongside the UK's leading Tantra teachers (Michele Wortman will accompany me and do her magical Moola- Ajna atunement).
• I came across a funny article written about our documentary in a UK online magazine. Click this link to go there http://www.channel4.com/4talent/feature.jsp?id=2026
• I have finally been approved to lead a series of "Active Meditations" to the stuffy Fire Island crowd (I know it's hard to believe that people here are stuffy, but when you make tons of money I guess you get more conservative - I don't know; I am just happy to finally be able to offer some of what I do here where I live. It's a form of giving back.)
• My book Sex & Happiness: The Tantric Laws of Intimacy (as well as my CD; Shamanic Release & Latihan and my DVD: Bliss Beginner's Tantra) will be carried at Mysteries, London's most exclusive store for New Age and Holistic information located in Covent Garden.

What can I say? I am happy. I am getting rest from the crazy pace I have kept since January 5th and I am feeling more prosperous and prolific than ever. Watch out world!

And I can hardly wait to go back to India. Want to come? Contact me right away.